Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse can affect anyone – regardless of age, gender, sexuality, background or income. It includes any incident or pattern of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading or violent behaviour by a partner, ex‑partner, family member or carer.

This can be:

• Physical (hitting, pushing, restraining)
• Emotional or psychological (threats, humiliation, intimidation, controlling what you do or who you see)
• Sexual abuse
• Financial abuse (controlling your money, debts in your name)
• Digital or online abuse (monitoring your phone, messages, social media)
• Honour‑based abuse, forced marriage or so‑called “honour” violence.

You do not have to wait until an emergency or until things get worse before asking for help.

Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour used to dominate, isolate and frighten another person, usually by a partner, ex‑partner or family member. It is recognised in UK law as a form of domestic abuse.

It is less about single incidents of violence and more about ongoing control that takes away a person’s freedom and sense of self.

Examples can include:

• Controlling day‑to‑day life
  • Telling someone what they can wear, where they can go, who they can see.
  • Monitoring their movements, phone, emails or social media.
  • Insisting on knowing passwords or using tracking apps.
• Isolating from friends and family
  • Stopping or discouraging contact with others.
  • Creating conflict so the victim feels they have “no one else”.
• Financial control
  • Taking control of all money, benefits or wages.
  • Giving an “allowance” or making someone ask for money.
  • Running up debts in their name.
• Emotional and psychological abuse
  • Constant criticism, humiliation or belittling.
  • Gaslighting – denying events, twisting reality so the person doubts their own memory or sanity.
  • Threats to harm themselves, the victim, children or pets if the victim does not comply.
• Rules and punishments
  • Setting “rules” about behaviour and punishing any “disobedience”.
  • Unpredictable anger so the victim feels they are “walking on eggshells”.

In England and Wales, controlling or coercive behaviour in an intimate or family relationship is a criminal offence under the Serious Crime Act 2015 when it is repeated or continuous and has a serious effect on the victim (e.g. causing fear of violence or serious alarm/distress that has a substantial adverse effect on day‑to‑day activities).

SafeLives has some useful pages with guidance and advice to support you and those you care about.

Don’t do anything to confront or provoke the person who is being abusive – and make sure that you look after yourself and your own safety.

Supporting friends and family – SafeLives

#ReachIn – supporting domestic abuse victims – SafeLives

Download the BrightSky app:

Bright Sky is designed for anyone experiencing domestic abuse, or anyone who is worried about a friend, family member, or colleague.

The app is free to use and can help you to spot the signs of abuse, know how to respond, and find a safe route to support. 

App Store (Apple): ‎Bright Sky App

Google play (Android): Bright Sky

SafeLives has a list of things you can do to stay safe online, this includes:

Thinking about your digital footprint: Look at all areas that you use tech in your life and consider if you need to improve your understanding, update your security or restrict your visibility.

Be password savvy: Strong passwords are crucial to protecting our accounts. Change usernames and passwords, even if you don’t think they’ve been compromised. You can use a password manager to help. Also consider using two-step verification for added security.

Check security settings: Update security settings on social media accounts so that only the people who you want to connect with can see your posts, photos and information. See below for links to change your settings.

Be aware of location settings: Lots of apps and software record information about your geographical location, and this information could be misused by someone with access to your accounts or devices. Check which apps are using location settings and then turn off any that you don’t need.

Think about tracking: There are many ways that tech can allow a person to follow your movements. The most common way is via apps that you have installed yourself, which another person then accesses information from. To minimise the risk of this, consider turning off tracking apps when not in use e.g. ‘find my friends/phone/tablet’, GPS fitness trackers, satnav.

Be camera aware: Cameras and devices can be accessed remotely or activated by apps. Cover the webcam on your computer/tablet when not in use.

For more information please visit: Information on staying safe online – SafeLives

Refuge also has a separate website for online safety, complete with guides on how to secure your phone and other technology. Visit: Secure your tech from abuse – guides | Refuge Tech Safety

If you are worried that a child or vulnerable adult is at risk of harm, you can:

• Contact Leeds City council’s children’s services or adult social care:
  • Children’s Social Work Services: Phone: 0113 222 4403 (Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm, except Wednesdays when they’re open from 10am) 
  • Adult Social Care:
    • Phone: 0113 222 4401 (Monday to Friday 9am – 5pm, except Wednesdays when they’re open from 10am)
    • Call with SignVideo live BSL interpretation
    • Report neglect or abuse of an adult | Leeds.gov.uk
• If there is an immediate risk of serious harm, call 999.

You can also tell us at the practice. We have a duty to consider safeguarding concerns and may need to share information with other agencies to protect people at risk